Faith in my Hospital

My Love Forever

"Can miles truly separate you from friends....If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?" ~Richard Bach Quote

My precious husband and I started dating shortly after a tragedy in my life-my ex beating me and my turning to overdosing to numb that pain. I didn't know that doctors quick answers and I sure as heck did not know Jesus'.

My sweet hubby today-and confused me with what was right, what was wrong. We just connected so well thru our hearts for one another. He connected more every time thru being a dad on the visit. One Tory looked up to.

We still had to deal with out stronger love from afar more and more every month, every year. In April of 2004 we had amazing talks on the phone. So amazing he was receiving numerous deep poems, love stories, amazement how we were at where we were-perhaps getting redding ready to get further! Thru God-with each other!!

It wasn't long after my writing to my then boyfriend, all giddy, that I went from that attitude to my having huge convulsions. Mu sweet heart's heart just sank.

Then this precious one cafe to visit me in May to see how I was. He held me tight in love as we were ready for church. About 15 minutes prior it starting, I had had hard core complex partial. So I was ready not to go. But it worsened that night. He stayed with me for safety.

And that is what is changed is outlook on my seizures. The fact he was around to see them. To help console me. And our kiddo. But before he never really saw them- he had reason to doubt. As before he had.

Darn epilepsy doesn't show on the outside well. But this illness began to show along with two more brain surgeriesl

And with faith and support of faith I can say I was finally healed from my epilepsy.... but it sadly led to more destruction. Worse destruction I'd trade back-my whole body kills. Along with my left eye going blind.

I am incapable of getting up our stairs. Or dressing wells. Walking, carrying my laptop. I have my brother, thank God for all of this.

My Big brother who used to be to proud-the hiring type-is now the one there for me. 100% No matter how high is I.Q. he waits for me to get well-saying that means for then everything in his like!!! Who else will keep him on fire for Jesus!!??

That changed my life-my aspect on how well I WILL GET... and I thank God for Him!

As for my hubby seeing this one either---no. He won't. But He will see what amazing good Christ will bring out of it again.

I am nervous for the first time about what the docs will say and do-but at peace knowing already my brother stood up for Jesus thru me--and I will get well-His timing.


Love you all!

In His Love,

Heather (Hetty) @AliveinMe

Beyond Thought

Luke 6:37-38
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back."

Giving. Doesn't it always seem like we are talking physical gift? Whether Christmas, birthday, anniversary etc... isn't giving usually looked at as physical gifts?

Those gifts are amazing, and usually from an amazing soul that is already a gift from Jesus--whether you spouse, kiddo, brother, sister, parents etc... to me, they sure are gifts as well.

My big brother and I have formed a bond, a relationship-an extreme gift to me this past year. One that I will cherish forever. One that is better than any wrapped gift-as for it is all from the hearts. Mine was never perfect, but was sure patient in waiting to hear from my heart-filled brother one day. One that set money aside, acknowledging that money can be productive, but nothing can be like the heart of a loved one.

And that is what he has done in just ounces of time. May not have all of what he had in the beginning of his spiral-may not add up as much expensive "needed" items. Or over time just tons of stuff of expense, that just don't mean anything in the heart. When the heart isn't reacting-there is more to be searched for. Praying to God He guides you how to fill it with something correct of the heart.

Even if you have tried another persons heart-try it again, but with one of deep love you haven't allowed yourself to recognize. 

My brother and I have so much love for each other-he was just unaware for a while there. I always loved him beyond happy book love. I truly put my whole self out there-defending all he was going thru, put me thru, others thru. He was needing more heart patience from someone-or he'd give up on his. And for months I was there, patient, and full of love and history. He just needed to make a change. Choose to.

He chose to when we moved to Philly. He saw my suffering with my illness-and my Why God's coming out. He didn't like that about me. He knew how I knew all about Jesus, and was one to share. Time before, yes, he thought that was weird... but watching my illness get worse as my love faded for Christ-all he could do was begin praying. And talking a ton to me about Jesus. Finally, after a decade of my love for Christ there-he had to reset it for me too. This life isn't just about me--he'd tell me... thru the illness it was about helping others. Finding right help. Growing close as family--- and for him, staying off his amazing work until I am better, so I have him at home, helping.

God worked wonders thru my brother to restart my engine. Siblings like this keep you alive-just thru love and personality-but thru Christ at the beginning of a brilliant walk.

We are thrilled and blessed beyond measure. All I can say is Praise The Lord!

In His Love,

Heather  @AliveinMe  @Time4Christ

Gifts

Romans 15:13 

So I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in Him. May you overflow with HOPE thru the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT.

Today was my precious hubbies birthday.... Mr. Christian C Siebens is now 42, and excited to be. 

He doesn't look 42, act 42, live like 42-he lives more like my age of 33-and me more his by illness. But we still fit perfect! His new job has him thrilled like a child-which is a blessing!!! And our new location for it is where I lived when I was 17/18.... I think he feels that age out every so often here he loves Philly so much!

He has a lot on his plate-me. Work is a lot, but for his it is so much fun. He loves me to pieces, but I am so complicated due to my illness, and the extreme surgeries-final healing to 2 weeks of wellness now 5 months of pure suffering that gets worse every couple weeks.

So for his birthday I really wish I could be well for one day. Really. Not pretend. But so well that I was ready to go one place to another full of the voice and humor I used to always have. But it isn't here this birthday. But I will say, I have extreme prayer for him that the doctors we see out here in Philly find something curable. Otherwise, it is just a spiral of downhill I don't want him to suffer with, when he has so much to give. He is the gift on his birthday, how selfish that seems, but that is because he is a gift every day, no matter what we go thru.

And I thank God for Christian. And keeping us strong, thru HIM. 

All is only worth life if it is for Him-He is life. And I still have some going, just fighting for the blessed amount He wishes upon me. 

My precious Christian is blessed with a long life-he is a walking Abraham!! 

God bless you all--know Christian adore you all. We are blessed by you all and thank Jesus for you!!

In His Love,

Heather @AliveinMe @Time4Christ  and Christian @flyingchristian

Happy Birthday my precious----always!

McProdigal Amazmen

This is for my dear friend, mentor Richard Mayhan @McProdigal. He is so transparent, goes deep in subject then brings it to the surface thru the love and heart of our Lord and Savior-Jesus Christ
He is so humble-placing others obstacles in life first. He tries to really understand them as if he lived it out. Most of all he has been thru obstacles never ashamed about-therefore he can talk, listen, pray, lift, console, understand, and gather others to pray that you will have no idea about!! His heart is amazing for the love of Christ.... please connect if not--and if ever looking for anyone in counseling/church--he rocks up in New Hampshire!! Otherwise, catch him on here!!!
God bless you all for praying--helping me see some purpose. Pull me out of this mud. It is still so hard everyday-but it is more and more in Christ's hands again, not mine.

God bless-with humble thanks....

Hetty  (Heather)  @AliveinMe  @Time4Christ  http://www.facebook.com/AliveinMe

PS... and the Counting Crows started their first major album in 1993-debut 91...no 80's my friend!!  :)

Anger

Romans 1:12 

When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

Therefore it takes more than one to keep faith alive. When one is strong in their faith, helping another, the other's bitterness can only last so long before you see either explosion, or you have to give them time off of clinging.

I know clearly what it is like to suffer. Some people can't say even how much it seems so intense. But I always say our suffering is equal in God's eyes. He knows what areas will break another to faith and another that won't. But to us humans, many feel it is just us. Only ME suffering badly. Can't anyone see that?

It is ok to talk to Jesus about it all-He wants that. But He doesn't want you turning over time, nor turning others. Wronging them for complaining of what they go thru, or bringing others further from their faith while they suffer. Then tear at one who was just venting to Jesus, and had zero to do with it but demeaning words.

I had to block Kim Alexander from all ability to post, as for her illness has her angry and in a mood to compare her illness to the world. So we have gone from me helping her, to her hating me for ever questioning God-when that is her daily issue.

So I no longer can help her-which she didn't take easily anyway. And a close friend of hers has been dropped a while back due to her type of illness, but not respecting her friend has them too. This world doesn't understand, that it takes true heart and faith to help that illness flee. I know that from my epilepsy.

She is angry at me for venting my illnesses to God, angry to God she has one. She is just angry and it isn't for me to help that. I will pray.

Join with me and pray for Kim's faith.

Blessings.

Heather