Accepting

Takes away and GIVES
Job 1:21 (KJV)  And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

It has been a tough half a year following my 3rd brain surgery. One severe pain led to another. One why led to several. Then just a final snap. All emotions went haywire as for nothing felt fixable. I'd be given different pieces of thoughts on what it could be. But not all tests in the world were run yet, to find out to WHAT it is.

So I struggled in pain. We moved to an amazing new home-with awesome stairs--that I can't get up. I felt so alone, so baby like. And I was supposed to be the mom. So I got on the phone with my neurologist here in AZ in tears and told him straight out. He had me come out for a billion outpatient appointments. I thank God for my parents and everyone helping me get back and forth.

It boiled down to many years of stress, trauma, surgeries--and how my body coped with stress then, was to seize. Now since my 3rd brain surgery in February it doesn't have that ability. I am seizure free. So whatever stress I have, and am unaware of (which is always-my family doesn't recognize it well-tough people) it doesn't flee thru the brain for seizures, it tries, brain gets confused and shoots it all over, confusing all parts of my body-causing confusion in it even of severe pain receptors. So my stress has to decrease, I have to increase little each day with moving my body to get all of it flowing-physical therapy, pool exercises, etc. Reactivate it in the right way, hopefully.

This has been a long walk. I have to accept this won't go away with a pill or surgery-but I am in along with it getting better. I have two meds that help it-but still is quite extreme pain right now until more and more therapy gets going.

Long road for 33, 10 years of just one major health issue after another. But then I look at dear friends who have it hard at a younger age--such as 7--and my heart breaks. Then you buck up and understand the days you wish you could take those illnesses away-but I've learned the teachings thru Christ what illnesses can do for the patient, family, friends, surrounding people near and far. And we have to learn that HE knows the answers and plans-we don't. Give our worries and cares to Him--for He more than cares!! He has plans for us!!! His love will never perish!! Blessed be the LORD!!

AMEN....

Lean on HIM....

Love you all-thank you for all your prayers and love!

In His Love,

Heather