Jesus is my answer-
no questions for me now
nor later!
Who went thru life with very tough stuff? Who had such major challenges they never could see or imagine there was a Bright Light at the end of that rocky tunnel? And when that focus started-who started having more trials and complications that looked like no answer, no end? Who grew very bitter and either turned from that Bright Light completely-or refused to ever give faith in our Creator a chance to guide us His Way planned for us even before we were in our Mother's womb?? (Jer 1:4) ? Refusing after so much tragedy or losses, once, twice, or year after year-that thoughts were bitter. Grown ups childishly just angry with fists and doubts toward any God!! And as years went by of us "waiting for His providing" or just anger and dust toward the thought that God was around, or none of this bad stuff would happen!?? Loss of a loved one placing doubt HE could be REAL cause the loss was way too early in "our" plans.
We have all faced something like this, and there is not one perfect person beside Jesus, that is high up and deserves all perfect in their lives-no matter even if they are a tight knit family-with full force of faith that Christ has a "special" suffer-less life set for them. That just isn't how it goes.
What is awesome is all people will have to face suffering in one way or another. But there are amazing, beautiful reasons that if we don't grip onto our One and only God, our Creator-Jesus Christ, we aren't going to walk His road of plans for us that He has had from before our birth. The beautiful life He gave us choice to accept as He died on that cross so that we could live with Him forever-our Savior. How? We don't live a bitter life at every trial we are faced with. We don't shake our fists at "whatever god allows this isn't a true one." The how can I be sick my whole life...when we can open our eyes to very young ones who might not make it after he/she was just brought into this world. Young ones battling extreme cancer and hasn't been in this world long? Or let's drag me in... how can I be blessed with such a beautiful daughter, yet attacked with extreme worsening seizures? Why God would you have my 1st brain surgery seem to work, but I was beaten shortly after by my now ex-which caused me to continue to overdose on my Phenobarbital? Cool God, I didn't know You when he beat me-and it led me to run to find You-after I rejected You for 7 years. I found You-and before I hit coma You heard that call I had for You. I needed to have a billionth chance-for my baby girls sake. And You did hear that cry!! But why God would You continue my illnesses? Go thru a 2nd brain surgery-but no meds were working with that if refused Phenobarbital. Why the other illnesses in between all my brain issues? Then also my daughter that also was diagnosed with epilepsy? Why put my new, amazing, loving yet lack of illness knowledge hubby-dear Christian? And ok-let's move onto my 3rd brain surgery (done awake). I have NO idea how controlled my seizures would be or would have been had a snip of my brain that controlled the bodies feeling of pain-or how it controlled the bodies senses keeping it painless. Well God, that snip put me in a walker at age 35 (well ages 33-35) and constrained in my bed or couch due to such severe full body pain. Why did I have to endure that, and lose 2 years of the closeness I have with my daughter. Then it set my marriage rocky for sometime? Why bless me with amazing Christian if between his new job and my illness were going to have our marriage rocky out in Philly? And heck God, why ever did you have his job placed somewhere YOU knew would worsen the pain?? And now my kidney needs to come out and because of my intense seizures I've had--I have to go back to a drug I've been on for my intense seizures. The drug that has killed many people from aplastic anemia and liver damage. But hey-I've fought that illness before a couple times-just back there for what, Your entertainment to watch my faithful or faithless reaction?? You get to see these sufferings and most say " If there was really a God-He wouldn't allow all these illnesses and suffering. There is no point to bring us to earth just to torture, right?"
Wrong. Every little and BIG (all are same, just different ways people can handle) issue, trial, illness, sufferings all have an AMAZING purpose. Not just or only or even much do the trials have to do with the sufferer much. It has to do with how will it touch other non-Christian lives... or Christians that are hard hearted... or people who have never even heard about Christ and someone else's trial, when praying, walking tight, and not giving up-knowing Christ has a plan with it all...and these people will look at what they really aren't suffering as the other has been and yet still lives each day for HIS GLORY! Puts what they or loved ones have been facing-into perspective. That just maybe Christ isn't a vicious God-but One who loves all and wants all to give their pain, illnesses, worries, all issues to HIM!!! To accept Him as their One True God, to put Him first in their lives-as He takes the suffering you are enduring-and is able to still give you joy during it thru love, hope, faith, trust, comfort--as He uses every moment of what you endure to open someone else's heart, mind and soul that what they never knew about or even rejected-is a TRUE LOVING GOD-that never gives up on His love and plans for You!! His love is unconditional... and thru all we face the only way to make it thru is by reaching for His hand of mercy and grace-giving us our billionth chance. And as He does that and our hearts our filled with joy-as we see Him work thru what we face that reaches out to others in dire need.
I've seen it happen in so many ways in all brain surgeries I've endured and many hospitalizations. My little girl was part of His plan--reaching out to a crying woman at Mayo Hospital. Asked what was wrong--finding out her husband would be passing in the next 24-48 hours from a staff infection. My daughter didn't talk about that--her first words with her hand on this lady was "Does your husband know Jesus Christ?" The lady stopped crying saying "I don't know" and turned around heading back to her husbands ICU to ask him.... an almost 5 year old can speak out comfortably about the true, intense need to accept Christ as our Savior--we go thru these to learn from our surroundings. From who touches us, plants a seed can make the most important change in our life. Never give up on your suffering or challenge--He just has amazing plans waiting to explode!!! As we reach for Him daily, thanking Him for His way we find Him... and learning to live out our suffering for HIS GLORY-forever AMEN!!
God bless you all. Suffering isn't a blast-but sure has comfort and purpose thru our Lord Jesus Christ. Reach out, talk to Him-but never doubt His Amazing Grace!
In His Love and Comfort,
Heather Siebens
James 1: 1-4
Dear Brothers and Sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
In His Grip,
Heather
Oh My Brain - Medium from Hetty Siebens on Vimeo.
