Accepting

Takes away and GIVES
Job 1:21 (KJV)  And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.

It has been a tough half a year following my 3rd brain surgery. One severe pain led to another. One why led to several. Then just a final snap. All emotions went haywire as for nothing felt fixable. I'd be given different pieces of thoughts on what it could be. But not all tests in the world were run yet, to find out to WHAT it is.

So I struggled in pain. We moved to an amazing new home-with awesome stairs--that I can't get up. I felt so alone, so baby like. And I was supposed to be the mom. So I got on the phone with my neurologist here in AZ in tears and told him straight out. He had me come out for a billion outpatient appointments. I thank God for my parents and everyone helping me get back and forth.

It boiled down to many years of stress, trauma, surgeries--and how my body coped with stress then, was to seize. Now since my 3rd brain surgery in February it doesn't have that ability. I am seizure free. So whatever stress I have, and am unaware of (which is always-my family doesn't recognize it well-tough people) it doesn't flee thru the brain for seizures, it tries, brain gets confused and shoots it all over, confusing all parts of my body-causing confusion in it even of severe pain receptors. So my stress has to decrease, I have to increase little each day with moving my body to get all of it flowing-physical therapy, pool exercises, etc. Reactivate it in the right way, hopefully.

This has been a long walk. I have to accept this won't go away with a pill or surgery-but I am in along with it getting better. I have two meds that help it-but still is quite extreme pain right now until more and more therapy gets going.

Long road for 33, 10 years of just one major health issue after another. But then I look at dear friends who have it hard at a younger age--such as 7--and my heart breaks. Then you buck up and understand the days you wish you could take those illnesses away-but I've learned the teachings thru Christ what illnesses can do for the patient, family, friends, surrounding people near and far. And we have to learn that HE knows the answers and plans-we don't. Give our worries and cares to Him--for He more than cares!! He has plans for us!!! His love will never perish!! Blessed be the LORD!!

AMEN....

Lean on HIM....

Love you all-thank you for all your prayers and love!

In His Love,

Heather

Anger

Romans 1:12 

When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

Therefore it takes more than one to keep faith alive. When one is strong in their faith, helping another, the other's bitterness can only last so long before you see either explosion, or you have to give them time off of clinging.

I know clearly what it is like to suffer. Some people can't say even how much it seems so intense. But I always say our suffering is equal in God's eyes. He knows what areas will break another to faith and another that won't. But to us humans, many feel it is just us. Only ME suffering badly. Can't anyone see that?

It is ok to talk to Jesus about it all-He wants that. But He doesn't want you turning over time, nor turning others. Wronging them for complaining of what they go thru, or bringing others further from their faith while they suffer. Then tear at one who was just venting to Jesus, and had zero to do with it but demeaning words.

I had to block Kim Alexander from all ability to post, as for her illness has her angry and in a mood to compare her illness to the world. So we have gone from me helping her, to her hating me for ever questioning God-when that is her daily issue.

So I no longer can help her-which she didn't take easily anyway. And a close friend of hers has been dropped a while back due to her type of illness, but not respecting her friend has them too. This world doesn't understand, that it takes true heart and faith to help that illness flee. I know that from my epilepsy.

She is angry at me for venting my illnesses to God, angry to God she has one. She is just angry and it isn't for me to help that. I will pray.

Join with me and pray for Kim's faith.

Blessings.

Heather

Faith

Matthew 20:28 "For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served, but to serve others and give My life as ransom for many.

To think Christ said those words LIVE back then. That is astounding! Part of me wishes I was there. But with all going on with me medically, I can't see me now being an awesome verbal on fire one-for Him. 

I need help. I need Him to take all this away. He did the epilepsy, why not the rest? Or do I have to be ill in order to speak to others about Him. I have since the moment I was beaten and turned to overdosing-I realized there was more.

My brother and I hit the conversation. He read another one of my blogs on healing, then began thinking of a whole boat that went down. All I can say is that it hurts, but God has His timing for reasons. He has certain deaths as for they were enough, others not to see such atrocious sin enter when they return. Then we all out here on the outside have to answer. question. Understand. Many won't. Some will try. But God is in control and has His reasons for erratic things like this.

Then we get back to the illness. He goes on and on with all the selfish, wrong things he did-why didn't he get natural illnesses as I did? I have many to share-as I remained strong with Jesus. 

It took my 3rd brain surgery, my understanding his strife, and illnesses I have today to have him talking to and about God. Seeming way more stronger than myself. He asks me a question on God-faith, and gets me to answer it straight out. Therefore saying I have faith.

I know I have faith. Just is irritated, confused, and trying to get as strong. People like Troy are people who get it out of you. And I commend him, love him, and can't wait till he shares like me.

In His Love.

Heather